I wrote a post some time back about trying to be an optimist and accepting the good things that come to you. In that post I decided that I was going to accept that I was given the opportunity to do contract work for a company that I really admire and that I deserved that opportunity. Fast forward and that opportunity is no more. Lots of reasons for that change and while I am not going to delve into the details about this I am going to outline some impacts.
First thing that is surprising is that I haven’t really reacted to this situation. Let’s be clear…I still have a job that I love with a company I love and I have been with for just short of 10 years. This contract was an anomaly in my career but one that I was proud to have. So in not really reacting to this situation I am not really sure where to go from here. Even trying to write this post is strange for me.
The other thing that is strange is that while I should probably be freaking out about “what does this mean for my career, What does this mean for my growth and my bonus” I am not. I think I may have grown as a person or something. I have come to realize that I can’t change anything that has happened, I have no idea what is going to happen and I have no control over any of this. Usually, I would have anxiety about all the what if’s and should have been’s. I strangely, have realized that not having control and not being able to do anything about those things is a bit freeing. What am I to worry about? Why would I worry if I can’t do anything to change a situation that has happened and that may happen outside of my control. Maybe it is growth or I have tripped over the line and have completely gone insane. In any case, 2018 is going to be a strange and unusual year. Good or bad, I am going to hold my head high, and continue to grow as a person and a PM.
The other shoe did drop and while that really sucks… everything happens for a reason. As my mother has always said to me in these situations, “When a door closes somewhere a window opens”. So I am looking for the window.